We all want to be happy and live fulfilling lives. And we want the people we care about to be happy too. Happiness matters to all of us.
Creating happiness around us begins with creating happiness within ourselves. Happiness in the moment can be influenced by numerous factors, including many things that are in our individual control. Being happier can be a simple exercise of taking an honest look at the everyday behaviors and habits that undermine us.
Consider what might happen if we could change the following 5 things:
1. Blaming Others:
Everyone makes mistakes. Family and friends let you down. People can forget court things.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you're also part of the problem. Maybe you didn't explain what you expected clearly. Maybe you didn't leave enough time to allow someone to be a little late. Maybe you have to much of someone, maybe two soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of letting others isn't about attacking ourselves or putting ourselves down, it's empowering – because can you focus on doing things better or smarter the next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier. And who is responsible for your happiness anyway?
2. Striving to impress.
If you are expecting people to like you for your cloths, your car, your toys, your title, or your latest accomplishment, are you setting yourself up? Those are all “things”. People may like your” things”, but that doesn't mean they really like you. If you're working really hard to be liked for your ”things”, you’re setting yourself up.
Sure, superficially they might seem to like you, but superficiality is also insubstantial, and a relationship that's not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships, the kind that make you happy, only happen when you stop trying to impress and choose to just be yourself. If you take a chance to put the real you out there, to be seen for who you are, then you create an opportunity for people to relate to the real you, and to like the real you.
3. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, you’re sending a message. What you're really saying is “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I listen to you so I can decide what I want to say." In other words, what you have to say and who you are is not as important as I am.
If you want people to like you – listen to what they have to say. Focus on what they have to say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They will appreciate your interest – and you will love how that makes you feel.
4. Criticizing.
You could be more educated. You could have more experience. Maybe you’ve been more places and seen more things.
That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, one-of-a-kind, and just you. Just like everyone else.
Everyone's different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences, not just the shortcomings, and you will begin to see people – and yourself – in a different light.
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
When something's wrong, don't waste your time and others complaining. Put that effort instead into making the situation better. Absolutely explore options and solutions with your friends.
Don't obsess with talking about what's wrong. Talk about how you will make things better, especially when the conversation is only with yourself. Do the same with your friends and colleagues. Don't just be a shoulder to cry on.
Friends don't let friends wine – friends help friends make their lives better. And in the process, we are all happier.
For more information visit now @ www.markwattscounsellingvictoria.com
Mark Watts
About the Guest Author:
Registered Professional Counsellor
Registered Professional Counsellor
